Friday, December 25, 2009

Happy Holidays!

Whatever you celebrate..and however you choose to celebrate..

Best wishes for a safe, healthy and happy holiday season.

:) A special thank you to ALL of my friends who've been so wonderful to me - not just through this last month - but who have been so wonderful to me all year long.

I love you guys, and I don't know how I'd make it without you. This year has been the best and the worst..but I'm still standing and I know that's only because I have so many amazing people holding me up some days. :)



Thursday, December 24, 2009

Faith, Hope and Love - Part II: Miracles

Scary things happen, and sometimes, you look back and wonder HOW you made it through. It's true of both worlds, and of all circumstances.

My dad has since woken up from his coma..he speaks, he thinks, he moves his body. He does all of the things that they said he would never do.

Is he himself ?

Not quite.

He doesn't remember who we are..or who he is all the time. He does sometimes, and he does remember people and places and things. So the memories are THERE - not erased. Just not being accessed all the time.

That's the brain injury - he needs time to heal.

He's been moved from the first hospital to a heart hospital - a defibrillator has been put into his chest (the surgery went well and he's responding well), and he's now in one of the best sub-acute rehab centers in New York.

The scariest thing? A lot of what happened after he left the first hospital was only possible because we were able to spend money and call in favors. If my dad were alone..he'd have died in the first hospital. I'm certain of it.

He's fought through EVERY single doubt that's been laid in front of him.

But God..he stepped in and gave my dad and my family the strength to do what had to be done. To dig down deep, and when we thought we had NOTHING left to give, God gave us what we needed.

For example..

The social worker at the hospital after his heart surgery said he should be put into a nursing home for rehab..and that he should go into one maybe out in the suburbs because they're easier to get into.

Unacceptable. We wanted him in a top notch facility that spent their time focusing on REHAB and not on a facility that would look to make him comfortable. See, the belief is that..he's too weak for true physical therapy. I don't believe I didn't believe any of the OTHER doctors.

In order to get him into the rehab center, I had to call two clients who are trustees for the rehab center and have them pull strings - which they did. The social worker at the second hospital had already told me there was no way he could get in. She said only celebrities can get accepted in there on such short notice. And when she got back the acceptance notice, she was shocked.

Not only did we have a bed waiting for him there, but there's a spot in the Mount Sinai acute rehab center when he's strong enough. Another place she said would never take him in because they're very exclusive.

I've never really had much to do with medical insurance..and hospital administration until now - but I believe that it's all kinda shitty. The patient is lost somewhere in the paperwork shuffle..and God help you if you don't have someone there to fight for you every step of the way. (Just a side rant).

I believe..that with a little luck, a lot of faith and an unimaginable amount of love, anything is possible. It also doesn't hurt to have a ton of hysterical women on hand to drive doctors, nurses and administration NUTS enough to do whatever is necessary.

But I know that God gave me back my dad. Dad wasn't ready to go and we weren't ready to let him go.

People who normally spend 46 minutes in cardiac arrest die. It's that simple. But for whatever dad did not.

So while he's not 100%..he's still here. And I believe in my heart that he just needs time to heal and the right therapy to be almost back to his old self. I know he won't be the exact same as before, but there's no reason that he can't be almost the exact same.

I kissed his hand tonight and said.."You're my dad and I love you." He kissed my head and said.."I'll always be dad and I love you two times more."

Yeah. He wouldn't be dad if he didn't. :)

Wishing you and yours a VERY Merry Christmas..filled with love, faith and miracles. :)


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Faith, Hope and Love - Part I

As most of you know, my Thanksgiving didn't go as planned.

Thursday morning, Thanksgiving morning, I stood in the kitchen facing the stove, dicing apples to cook with. My dad came in from outside, sat at the kitchen table..and in the background, above the tv playing the Thanksgiving day parade, I heard he and my 9 year old nephew talking. He was going to put peanut butter on some crackers for my nephew.

And then my nephew said.."Papa..are you okay? Papa what's wrong?"

I turned around and my dad was face down on the table. I pulled him up and held him I shouted to my mom to call 911. She ran around and grabbed my dad, screaming.

I ran around her and grabbed the phone while my sister and brother-in-law lifted him off of the chair and laid him out in the kitchen.

His teeth were clenched, so we had to pry his mouth open. My sister did that. Talking to 911 was a blur. I did it between breathing into his mouth..listening to my sister count compressions on his chest..and blocking out my mom screaming in the background. I could hear him taking

The FDNY arrived first..they took over the CPR and the FDNY paramedics arrived right after them followed by NYPD.

Everything went by so quickly..yet so slowly.

A firefighter had his arm around me while he tried to complete a form with my dad's name, birthday, etc. And when they said "CLEAR!" and shocked him, he hid my face. But I saw what I saw.

They shocked him four times.

My sister threw me a pair of pants from the stairs and I pulled on my sneakers and ran outside of the house where they were preparing to carry him out.

And if I said I was holding it together, I'd be a liar. I was bawling and my mom and I were holding each other outside. My aunt came; later we found out my brother-in-law called her as soon as it happened.

You see. He's not just MY dad.

He's the dad to everyone in our family. My mom's father passed away when they were young, so my dad became THEIR dad in a way. He raised my aunt from the age of 5 - she's 50 now.

My aunt drove us to the hospital, my sister and I and her husband. My brother-in-law stayed home with the kids.

The next few hours were painful. Seeing my dad in the ER undergoing a process they called the Arctic Sun to drop his body temperature. He was on a respirator. He was unresponsive.

I cried so much..everything blurred. The nights and the days..and the people..and everything was numb.

The doctor's told us he was in a deep coma.

They said we needed to come to terms with the fact that he was not going to wake up - that this body laying there was the best things were going to get.

They told me he couldn't even hear me speaking to him.

His prognosis was POOR. Very, very poor. They all said the same thing. From that point on, every doctor that came in to tell me something negative..I threw out.

I cried. I stopped sleeping..eating..going home..going to work. I stopped everything because..without my dad..without his voice every day..without his smile..his eyes..without world stopped.

I just sat next to his bed and I prayed. And I talked to him. I begged him to wake up. I begged him to come home.

On the Monday after his collapse, doctors started coming in..telling me we needed to think about making him comfortable in his last days.

My family called me and told me to come home..we had a lot to discuss as a family. My dad's wishes were ALWAYS clear. He did NOT want to be kept alive by any machines. I knew the talk that was coming.

And I did not go home for it.

I cried so much that day, the nurses cried with me.

That night, I finally went home. We sat around and all talked. And I did what I always do. I said what I had to say and I left.

You dad always knew. He knew that if the time should come when he needed to be taken off of machines that were keeping him alive, I would not be able to do it. He knew I'd fight and find a way to keep him with me.

So I said.."I know dad's wishes..I agree with what you've all decided. But in my heart, I can't do it. It's like we're giving up hope on him. If it were me in that bed, he'd never..give up on me." With that, I crawled into my dad's bed and went to sleep. All I could contribute to the discussion had been said.

Tuesday morning, my mom, my older sister and I laid in my parents bed and cried. We were supposed to sign the paperwork to take him off of the respirator at 10:30 AM.

It was all so somber. The drive to the hospital. The silence as we all walked the halls.

We sat through everything..hospices for his last days..moving his body. My oldest brother left the room. He couldn't take it. My sister held my mom's hand while she signed the DNR and the order to remove the respirator.

I broke down and left the room in tears. I laid on the bed next to my dad and told him..he didn't have long left..he needed to wake up NOW. I cried until I was even amazed that I had tears left.

I left the hospital shortly after..laid on my cousin's couch and ached inside. After about an hour, we headed back to the hospital and as I got off of the elevator, my oldest sister was standing there waiting.

"Daddy moved his foot."

That was all I needed. I dropped my coat and bag and headed back to his room. And it was true. He moved his feet..and his hands..and his head. He was still unconcious, but he was MOVING.

So we stood there..and debated. Were these simply reflexes from the coma? Or was he finally waking up?

After a while, we decided..we couldn't do it. Despite what the doctors were saying..we had to give him a chance. So we pulled back the order and had the paperwork removed.

This blog is getting long now. And I'm tired. LOL

So I'm posting this..and I'll continue the rest later. :) Long story. Believe me..and the yet hasn't even been written - so I can't share that with you.


The Bubble Butt!!!!




Monday, November 23, 2009


Yet another reason to love Jay Z. :P to Perez.


Sunday, November 22, 2009


Well, I've fallen into a blog RUT.

Not that I don't have anything to say..I always have a lot to say.


It's just that I'm at this point in my SLife..where I guess.....

How do I say this..

I'm kinda happy.

Lame, I know! I feel like I'm walking on ICE. LOL

:) But I'm kinda happy just..doing what I do now. Finding my way back to old places..and finding my way into new places.

I'm doing well.

My friends are doing well.

Connected is doing well.

I had a shitstorm of ideas today..and I'm excited to work on new things. Planning charity events for December and parties. Helping random folks just.....because I can.

So my blog suffers a little bit.

I know you all understand.

The last few months...well they were really super shitty for me. And getting back on my feet took time and a lot of re-evaluating.

These days I log Blissie in and kinda walk away. Snuggle up on the couch with Mr. RL's like having the best of both worlds in a way.

If you'd asked me a year ago where I would be today..I don't think I could have imagined any of this in a million years. we all are. Home again.

:) I like it.

I love my SL friends, and if anyone's short on some Blissie lovin', know that it's because I'm wrapped up in me these days. But I still love you. :)

I'll be home next weekend..(actually here when Blissie is logged in!) and I'll catch up on blogs and on everything. I promise.

:) A little early Thanksgiving appreciation. I *am* thankful for everything - the good and the bad. I am thankful for the people that have made me a better person..made me stronger, made me softer, made me whole. :) I love my little SL family and I wouldn't trade you fuckers for anything - not even custom made Moody's. *nods* That's some serious love, yo.



Wednesday, November 11, 2009

My Chinese Food Fortune Cookie Today..

Put all your unhappiness aside, life is beautiful, be happy.

Sound advice. :)


Saturday, November 7, 2009

999 and Counting......

Well, kids. Today is my 999th day in Second Life.

Just stating that fact BLOWS me away.

999 days..of bullshitting around in a cartoon world.

999 days of shopping for cartoon stuff that I've worn once..and never used again. LOL

999 days of decorating and undecorating and redecorating.

999 days of making and breaking friendships.

Some people celebrate their 1,000th day. I kinda like my 999th day better. It's like being at the edge of a mountain just.....being.

Because that's kinda where I am right now. :) Happy just being.

I could sit here and dole out advice to noobs..or those younger than me in SL.

But here's the thing - it won't matter. I heard it all/saw it all. And I still made the same mistakes. I guess some lessons you have to learn for yourself.


My advice is simple.

:) Just enjoy your SL and the people you're with. Don't get caught up in the drama - don't read too much into things, and don't hold on to things that don't make you feel good. Just..have fun. :P

I know..I say it a lot..and then don't take my own advice.


Story of my life.

:) But I'm in an amazing place these days. Having fun with my friends..listening to great music (courtesy of THE sexiest DJs in SL)..working on projects for Connected. :) Just making my Second Life fabulous again.

Some days I wonder why I've logged in....

But when I get into the middle of my family..hop on a tip jar..lay on a couch..and I'm surrounded by the people I love best.. :) I know why.

Happy travels, kids!


Sunday, November 1, 2009

Who Says You Can't Go Home?

Yesterday I updated my blog a little..changed the title page. In my search for the perfect quote..I found the following lyrics:

“When you look into my eyes,
And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul,
It always comes as a surprise,
When I feel my withered roots begin to grow,
Well I never had a place that I could call my very own,
That's all right, my love,
'cause you're my home.”

~Billy Joel

I had no idea how much that quote would fit with today.

I went to visit Borday, who was rezzing someplace new to live. And he rezzed..The Skybox.

I capitalize..because..The Skybox..was our home..for more than a year. That house survived sim moves, club ownerships, jobs, friends, taste changes, seasons.....

That house was ultimately us. It wasn't just a was home.

And when he rezzed it..I saw everything as it was. I saw the furniture..the poses..the moments..the conversations..the laughing..the fighting..the dancing..the everything.

I remember slow dancing in boxing gloves for hours..just talking. Sitting on pillows by the fireplace doing post-party rundowns. Racing each other to the bed at night before logging. Kissing under the mistletoe at Christmas time. :) Sitting by our Christmas tree and opening presents. Valentine's Day..birthdays...

That house..wasn't just a build. It wasn't just where I rezzed for the longest time. It was home. And some people ask..why do I need an SL home?

Well, to's like.......having a place you can always be. It's a place that's just yours. Private. Safe. And what makes a house a home is simple: happiness. It's what makes our RL homes a "home". And it's the same for SL.

I've heard that you can never really go home again. I agree and disagree with that statement.

You CAN go home. You just cannot go home to the home you once knew. But home..a REAL always there for you. It isn't about the name of your land..or the sim - it's about the way it makes you feel.'ve arrived. And you belong.

Mr. Moo will always be home to me - no matter how far we may travel from each other. I wish everyone were as lucky as I have a home in SL that would always be there no matter how big or little the fuck ups were.

So for me..those song lyrics really meant a lot more today than they did yesterday. And I think it's kinda fate that I fell on them when I did.

What does it all mean? I don't know. :) I just know..that I'm thankful he's a part of my life. I'm thankful for the ups and downs. I'm thankful for it all.

It's been a long way..and I've travelled a lot. But it's time. Welcome back home, Blissie Boucher. :)


Saturday, October 31, 2009

Week in Review..Plus Random Musings..

This week has been a STRANGE one.

:) But it ended up being a great week. Costume parties..Connected projects..hanging out with my friends. You know the deal. The things that make SL worth it all.

Went on a shopping spree (thanks Bev and Aeryn!), so I'm sporting new looks.

For my friends out there that are struggling with so many different issues, here's a little advice..John Mayer style...:

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say.. just have to take a chance..a leap of faith. It may be worth it - it may not. There are no promises. BUT. Nothing's worse than wondering "What If?" and living with regret. :) Just always matter WHAT you say or do, your real friends will always pick you up, dust you off and help you find your way back home. So you're never as alone as you may think.

I learned that lesson first hand, kids.

On to the week in picture review!! Unfortunately, my favorite snapshot of the week was taken in world..and I'm too lazy right now to rezz it and take a picture for here.

:) But just know that 1) Jay Z is the King of New York and 2) I can only sing Rock-A-Bye Baby (totally off key) after a LOT of convincing. :P

And! Enjoy!!!!

Have a safe and happy Halloween! :)


Thursday, October 29, 2009

Empire State of Mind

:) Gotta love Jay Z, baby.

Well, I do.


Monday, October 26, 2009

The Perfect One.....

Parkey's Pub sponsored a fundraiser for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer charity. So we ALL got checked! :) 14,000L raised..and since the kiosk was left out, I'm sure more will be added to that.

I can't thank everyone for coming out..donating their lindens..donating their time...their ENERGY. I love you guys. :) I appreciate the support. Always.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Random Shots...

A shot for Bev..who's been on vacation for SO long!!!!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Okay, okay..

So last night's post was a reaaaaally shitty attempt at trying to get one blog in for Blog Day (is that what it's called?).

:) Let me provide you all with a better blog post - let me share with you the only good thing I've done this year in Second Life.

On Saturday, October 10th the Savoy Jazz Club was kind enough to open it's doors (and WALLET) to allow me to host a charity date auction. All proceeds went to the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer charity.

The last time we took a shot at charity work in SL, we raised about $300USD for the Relay for Life - over a one week span at the Bee Hive.


In the 2.5 hours we spent at the Savoy..we were able to raise almost $500USD.

Insane, right?

:) I just want to thank everyone for participating..showing up, sending well wishes..donating..bidding..

And especially, a big thank you to Crighton for DJing AND for letting me steal the Savoy for a night.

I really appreciate everyone's support for such an amazing cause. :)

I love you guys!


Thursday, October 15, 2009

Shaken Not Stirred....

:) I'm feeling good today. Under the weather, but......

Taking deep breaths and cleaning out my lungs.


Yeah, that feels good. :)


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Last Two Weeks in Picture Review...

Learning to have a blast again. :) Living SLife again.

I didn't get to grab a pic while at Bistro recently or while at Parky's pub. :) Sorry. But I was there! And I'll be better about taking more pics, I promise. I'm slowly getting back into being me again. SLOWLY. LOL

:) Enjoy the man candy shots too - but not too much. :P

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Sweet Dream or a Beautiful Nightmare...

So life's been kinda topsy turvy.

For a while I thought of following in Joonie's footsteps and ending this blog and starting a new one.

I thought about doing so much..saying so much..

I've been in a strange place in SL. Trying to figure out how to fix me..because I was really broken.

But trying to fix yourself without causing damage to those around you seems inevitable sometimes.

I thought to myself...

What do I want?

I want people in my life that aren't leeches - that have their own SL - their own friends and their own place.

I want people that have fun..that can listen..that can be just as open as I am without the drama.

And then there's history. I like people who understand where I came from in SL and who got me to the point I am. My old friends in SL made me who I am today. My new friends add to it.

My favorite moments in SL are stolen adventures. Wandering with Kim and Aeryn. Laying on my couch bullshitting with Bev. And ohhhhh..the Joonie shopping saved my sanity recently. Viting Moo at his gigs and hanging out. Tormenting C during his meetings. Hanging out with Ayn and Hart while they build. These are the things that make logging in worth it.

So my SL is gradually approaching picture perfect again.

I'm slowly returning to my old skin..figuring out that some stuff isn't worth the second thought I'd been giving it.

But my favorite moments in SL are private (not dirty, perv!) and hidden in voice with a good friend.

So I wish you all these stolen moments - they're the best.

Tell me, what are yours?


Friday, September 18, 2009

Happy Birthday..CAKE!

So, we all know Cake Boss is one of my fave shows..and Carlo's Bakery is my FAVORITE bakery on the East Coast (closly followed by Mike's Pastry in Boston).

So, my birthday cakes (I know, some kids can't get one - sorry) were both from Carlo's.

Cake #1 was vanilla cake with hazelnut mousse filling.

I'm still eating 1/2 of this cake today - it's SO insanely good, though.

Cake #2 was devil's food with chocolate mousse folling/

That cake was long gone before I could snap a pic of the inside.


:) So Buddy did an amazing job as always - nothing out of Carlo's Bakery has ever tasted anything BUT perfect.

And to my SL friends that sent birthday wishes and presents and song dedications to me - thank you! :) Especially a big thank you to Parker for ALL of the love and presents, and to Crighton for sneaking this BB's birthday in with the original BB's birthday. my better half, Bev, who snuck in and decorated my apartment. :) I love you! I couldn't have ASKED for a better surprise. :)

Thanks everyone!


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Random Thoughts..on DJs....

My entrance into Second Life was fashion based.

Things shifted a little while into SL and music quickly took the focus. I've been in the company of the BEST and of the REST.

So, for future DJs, let me give you some tips from a professional groupie:

1. Be chatty. Be it on the mic or in chat - if you don't say SOMETHING to your audience, you'll lose them.

2. Take requests. :) Playing what you love is great, but playing what the audience loves too helps.

3. If you have a girlfriend or a GIRL..or a wife..whatever..her requests should always come first. :) She shows up at your gigs..she goes through drama..all while supporting you. The least you can do is play her songs first. ;-)

4. Remember your hostess. She works just as hard as you do. :) She sees and hear what you don't while you're working. Remind folks to tip her, tell her what a great job she's doing - whatever.

5. Mix. It. Up. If your playlist is the same 3 times a week, people WILL get bored and stop coming. Don't wonder why - I just told you.

Not a lot of tips. :) Just stuff I've learned.

I'll always say that being around Crighton and Borday has spoiled me as a groupie. Two years later and Crighton hasn't forgotten my favorite song requests. Two years later and Borday's laughter on the mic still makes me laugh too. It's the little DJ things that stick with you. The way they take time during their shows to greet people in the audience, to say hello, to tell jokes, to share their passion with their fans - that's what makes them great DJs. :) The best, I like to say.

Borday always taught me that..ANY DJ can play a top 40 list. A great DJ can play popular, old school, requests, unknown and still have a great show.

That's all I've got today.

No deep thoughts.

:) Just a little insight from club visiting....


Sunday, September 13, 2009