Friday, February 3, 2012

Domestic Violence and Abuse: On the Outside Looking In..

Sometimes, love doesn't work out the way we imagined it out.  Sometimes....people say and do things that can leave us very confused and hurt.  Sometimes emotionally, and sometimes....physically.  And in many cases, it's us looking in at another relationship, watching a friend or loved one suffer in silence that's really the scenario.

Between 600,000 and 6 million women are victims of domestic violence each year, and between 100,000 and 6 million men, depending on the type of survey used to obtain the data. (SOURCE:

If there are signs of abuse, then paying careful attention is the most important thing you can do to help someone.  Because we all know..they don't come in the form of HELP written across a mirror.  Don't be silent.  DO open the lines of communication.  Don't mind your business.  DO ask your friend/loved one if they are okay.  Don't pass judgement or make sweeping generalizations.  DO make them feel safe and comfortable enough to talk and let you in.

Sometimes, a helping hand can make all the difference.   

Safe Horizon provides the following handy guide.. 

Some signs of domestic violence and abuse are more obvious than others; these are few of the
most common...

Does your partner ever…
1.  Accuse you of cheating and being disloyal?
2.  Make you feel worthless?
3.  Hurt you by hitting, choking or kicking you?
4.  Intimidate and threaten to hurt you or someone you love?
5.  Threaten to hurt themselves if they don’t get what they want?
6.  Try to control what you do and who you see?   
7.  Isolate you?
8.  Pressure or force you into unwanted sex?
9.  Control your access to money?
10.  Stalk you, including calling you constantly or following you?

IF YOU SUSPECT that someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or relationship abuse…
- Get Information
- Get Resourches
- Get Them Help!
 There are many places you can go to for help, including Safe Horizon (, which is the nation’s leading victim assistance organization and serves over 250,000 people each year who have been impacted by violence. Whether they are responding to child abuse, domestic violence, or other violent crimes, they help victims and their families heal and rebuild their lives. 

If you are a New York City resident in need of crisis assistance, call one of our 24-hour toll-free hotlines. If you are outside of New York, please refer to the Additional Resources page.
  • Domestic Violence Hotline: 800.621.HOPE (4673)
  • Crime Victims Hotline: 866.689.HELP (4357)
  • Rape, Sexual Assault & Incest Hotline: 212.227.3000 OR 866.689.HELP (4357)
  • TDD phone number for all hotlines: 866.604.5350
You can also email for help at If it is a non-emergency situation and you would prefer to email us, please allow 72 hours for a response. For immediate assistance, please call us at 800.621.4673 instead of using email

(all information taken from
This Public Service Announcement was brought to you by the Concerned Bloggers Association.
If you would like to become involved, please contact Marleen Vaughan for more information.  



Marls said...

This is an incredible post, Blissie. You did a bunch more research than what I offered and you totally made it work. You're so fucking awesome.

Much Love,

Paisley Mizin said...

Very well done. Useful information. Thank you.

Blissie Boucher said...

Thank you!