A Private Show..

So, here's the story about me (just incase you haven't figured me out yet). I'm a work in progress.

I'm kinda nice-ish. But not really. I am what I am - the good, the bad and all the jelly filling in between (want to know more, get closer, maybe I'll let you in). I keep everyone at arms length. Not just in SL..but in RL (we'll just go ahead and save the "my issues in life" post for another time - heck, that might just be a book or something when I'm retired and just full of free time).

Funny thing about me. I know right off the bat if I'll like you or not. It seems unfair, doesn't it? I do decide based on first impressions (not just your actions towards me, but just..in general). I'm not saying my first impressions are right all the time. But 90% of the time I'm on the money.

Unfortunately, some people I throw in with others simply based on association. Yes, yes. Guilty by association is wrong - I know. But my father always said to me: Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are. Not 100% true - I have all kinds of friends - but I think it does speak volumes as to the adaptability and tolerance of your personality and character.

But you know, I've adopted the motto that it's not always that easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys. Sinners can surprise you. And the same is true for saints. Why do we try to define people as simply good or simply evil? Probably because no one wants to admit that compassion and cruelty can live side by side in one heart. And that anyone is capable of anything. (Those housewives are so insightful..).

And I'm learning. Slowly. But learning, nonetheless.

/me kicks her little soap box aside and hops down.

Aaaaanyway. That's my thought of the day. Just..sharing. Moving on.

What the heck!? What happened to Heath Ledger? That's so sad! I feel terrible for his child. To lose your father at that young of an age (celebrity or not) is horrible. I can't imagine my life without my dad. He has been, and always will be, the most important person to me. I grew up with two parents - one always working and the other with the kids. My dad did most of my raising (not that my mom wasn't present - she was, just later at night when it was closer to bedtime). I am 85% a product of his actions (the other 15% being a mix of my mom and my siblings). I'm tough, but caring. I'm loyal, but honest (yes, I love you, but that dress DOES make your ass look fat). I don't think I'll ever meet or become someone as great as my dad - damn him for setting the bar so high. It's something I think about, strove for, and have admitted failure to. He turns the other cheek when I cannot. He can trust freely, not waiting for the other shoe to drop when it comes to other people. Not to say my mom isn't great. She is. Like me, she's just a little more cautious with her trust. I think I get my dedication and love for my work from her, though. My never-ending hunger to be the best at whatever I've set my mind to. That part is definitely her.

But then..there's something more to me. Beyond them, there's still me. Standing at the edge of the 20-something abyss staring down at middle age unsure of what's next. The funny part? My cliff's crumbling and my only option is to jump before I fall - all without knowing what's next for me. Oh well..would I be me if I didn’t take a running leap into the unknown, curious about what was to come? (You know about curiosity and that cat..)

What the heck was my original point?!

Bought a new set for my Zen garden at the house. The mat, the meditation pillows, the candles, the Buddha sculpture. Hooooo! I hunted everywhere for it and FINALLY found it.

Thanks for reading today. There's ten minutes of your life you'll never get back. :)


Until next time,

B

P.S. - Happy Birthday Big Brother! :) Welcome back, too.