So..

Mr. Moo and I have broken up.

And the reasons are between us - so please don't ask why.

But.

Things should continue as usual. Attending his gigs..chatting him up when you see him..inviting him to where you are.

I'll be bouncing around more. I've quit all of my hostessing jobs.

The future of BP is uncertain right now. I really only used it to promote Moo's gigs and sales and stuff. Hey, if you're on my friends list I'll tell you about the sales anyway. And if not, get into his subscriber or group to keep up with him.

And no, I'm not looking for another guy. There's only one for me.

So, if anyone has any ideas how I can get him back, please let me know - cuz I don't.
But after 15 months (which, according to Crighton's theory of six SL days for every 1 RL day is 8 years for us), I'm not going to say this is the end for us totally. He IS my best friend. Not was. Is.

I had a talk with Aeryn not too long ago about time healing all things. And that the smallest word like..hello..can say a lot between people.

So.

That's where I stand now. On severely unfamiliar territory not too sure what I'm going to do.

So I'll be around. And you know how to find me if you need me.


B

I Feel Like..

Screaming.

I'm so frustrated.

So tired.

So edgy.

I feel like..I've hit this wall..and I don't know what to do.

I feel like I can't get shit right anymore. Like the more I think I know, the less I really do know.

The more I try to wrap my head around things, the less I can understand them.

It goes down the line. RL..SL..it's all out of whack. I feel like..like if I feel any more I'll just explode.

I shut down all parties in production for BP. I closed up the office and put my lindens to use elsewhere. I've laid too much responsibility on myself. Asked too much of me in an effort to not let anyone down. To be exciting and fun and entertaining.

I had a productive weekend in SL cleaning up some shit. I cleaned up my inventory..checked out new clubs..hit up new stores..hung out with old friends. I even got to watch part of a movie with a friend of mine that I haven't seen in months because I'm always busy and can never accept invites to watch him fight or coach or anything.

I got lost here somewhere. I don't know where. I used to wander SL and find all kinds of fun things. I'd discover sims..and stores..and gadgets..

And I stopped.

I don't know why. I can't remember the exact moment I decided to give up exploring and searching and hunting.

I feel like I work too much in RL. Like I go to sleep and wake up on the same topic. Like I relive the same day..over..and over..and over..

Maybe these are the just the aftershocks of my sleep issues. An overload on my mind.

I feel like I can't do my job forever. But I don't know what else to do.

In SL I feel like everything I say to Moo sends it all to fucking hell. Like he's not happy hanging around with me anymore. And the more I try to fix it, the worse I make it.

And I've come to realize, no matter how happy I am hanging around with my friends, it all feels so off when he and I aren't happy. He's stewing over my toaster post still. Believing that I have another toaster - but I don't. I'm a one toaster gal. And if I wanted another toaster, I'd say so. But I don't.

And I just want to fix everything.

And I'm a fixer. Love it or hate it, I am a fixer.

I once read a post Joonie made..about blowing it all up.

Well, I feel like blowing it all up. I now understand what she meant.

Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer. Maybe self-destruction is.

But I'm not self-destructive.

So I don't know what to do..and I don't know how to fix it all. And I'm stuck.

Holiday's coming up. I need the days off. From work. From life. From everything. Just to soak it all in.

Just to relax my tired mind.

You know where I am if you need me.



XOXO,
B

So..Breakfast Club, Anyone?

My SL schedule these last few weeks has been somewhat of a rival to my RL schedule - leaving me either working or in perpetual afkness. So, as always, my non-afk time is spent with those I'm closest to in SL. Mr. Moo always being my #1. So I hit a few clubs, make my "rounds" (as Parker refers to it) and I vanish into the darkness of SL. Whether it's to hide at the house with Moo, or sit at Bistro with Kim, or hang with Bev in the moon..I'm rarely ever in the same place for too long if I'm not working.

So I happened to run into an old club acquaintence recently..who made mention of seeing one of us..but not knowing if she was seen..or if he even knew who she was. And did he remember her. Of course it's the infamous Crighton, who I think might know more than 2/3 of SL personally. And why wasn't I at the party..and yada yada. (FYI - we don't always attend the same functions - and if there's more than one going on at a time, we may split it up and some attend one and others attend the second one..)

And that, coupled with my recent comment about us being in a form of high school here, brought me to this post.

You see, I've come to realize that our little clique is intimidating.

Let's face it, we're a close group..and we have a ton of inside jokes..and we know each other pretty well - our RLs have melted into SL and we accept that as it is. We all make an effort to appear at each other's gigs..venues..parties..etc. We mass shop together, but we don't all look the same. It's a funny thing, our little family. Scary to outsiders.

I think we all have our own place in the group. We each bring something dynamic to the table, and without one person the group doesn't fit right. Moo brings his brand of humor and laid back attitude, BigD brings his witty sarcasm and chivalry, Parker brings her innocence and grace, Crighton brings his music encyclopedia and kindness, Kim brings her big wide (too wide sometimes) heart and damn genius, Bev brings her style and warmth, Mikki brings her naked ass (good lord), Busy brings her fierce strength and Ehric brings the wit (I'm getting typing lazy now..lol). (just because I missed you doesn't mean you don't matter..just means it's past midnight and I'm slowing down..)

But at the end of the day, we aren't a clique of snobs. We're a family, and take care of each other like one, fight like one, love like one and we PARTY like one.

So yeah, we may be too busy to attend all parties..be at all venues and return all IMs/notecards instantly. But. We're still around to chit chat. We're still people. Say hello when you see us in the clubs or out shopping. Don't be scared. :) We're all regular avis too. Even our alts are nice and kind..and all hang out together..ROFL!

So, I'd like to know. Using the Breakfast Club setup..who do you break our little family down to be? Jock? Preppy snob? Nerd? Outsider? Rebel? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Now..some pictures!

And hey..our silence when you come into our presence? We're totally not IMing each other about you. ;-)

XOXO,

B

My Name Is Bliss..and I am a Snob..

It's true. I know I try to pretend I am not, but I really am. I'm a horrible snob and I can't hide it anymore.

You see. It used to be the little things.

Blingy shoes.

Those were my big turn off. I know, I know. I wore them as a noob. I had them in many, many colors and styles..and yeah. I outgrew bling. Quite frankly, I downright hate bling now.

In any event. I am a snob. (In RL too, but hey, I control it pretty well..but we're talking SL right now.

I see freebie shoes..outfits..and I know..I own them..but I am repulsed.

But they're the craptastic freebies. Not the good stuff you get on hunts and as group gifts. We're talking Freebie Island stuff here.

I'm working on it. So if I mock your..not up to standard avi, I'm sorry. Forgive me.

:) Reminds me. Recent comments have my mind whirling about our popularity, or a given few members of our group..and how SL is a little more like high school than I thought..

Jumbled night thoughts!


XOXO,
B

Celebrate Life..

So today I attended a birthday party for my cousin's one year old son. You see, this celebration is unique.

Aiden's birth was extremely difficult. He was premature with severe complications - his lungs had collapsed, he had issues with his heart..it was all horrible.

The doctors were prepping the family for the worst. He wasn't going to make it through the night.

But the thing about the human spirit is that..they're stronger than we give them credit for.

Almost a full month in the hospital later, and a healthy baby boy was released.

So today..was a cause for a celebration. Aiden not only beat the odds the doctors had laid out for him, he even beat the odds our family had laid out for him. He's a chubby little boy with wide eyes, long shaggy hair and a huge grin.

He's got his whole life ahead of him today. But that was not the case a year ago.

After this week, a little joyful gathering was necessary.

The human spirit is strong..sometimes stronger than the human body, I think. Just when we think we can't go on anymore, we do. We push forward, we find a reason..we find that thing that pulls us through. And I'll take it to my grave that the real thing that pushes us..that keeps us going when things seem darkest is love.

Our love for those around us and the love we receive from them.

Food for thought.



XOXO,
B

A Jumble of Thoughts

So, I'm sitting here using my new Dell mini to post this blog. I've named it Plum (though n0 part of it is purple) and I love it very much.

Anyway, so I've been thinking about life, love and the pursuit of happiness - SL and RL.

You see..life, well, it's the same anywhere. You live it like every day is your last and never apologize for that. You say what you need to say and do what you have to do - and never regret it. Life's short. Don't waste any opportunities. Don't waste a chance to love or forgive.

Love? Well, love's a tough one. You can love someone and be willing to lay your life down for them. Or you can love someone and still be afraid to open up. Love's a tricksy bastard. I love my RL. I love the people in it..the people that make it what it is. I love my SL peeps too. Recently, I made a post about toasters..and appreciation and such. I think I should clarify something. The biggest part of my SL is Moo. Even when I made an alt recently. My alt curled up ith his alt. ROFL. In alt form..he's still my SL. And I won't lie. A few weeks ago, things were really really rough. And I've decribed our relationship as a rollercoaster ride sometimes. And before we moved from Marinero, I thought we were done for sure. I thought our fighting couldn't get any worse. I guess all relationships need a big blow out to survive. Even friendships. Maybe it's necessary to get all of the crap out and keep the pipes flowing properly. But it's part of our dynamic, I think. And I've grown to need it. And him too. :)

And the pursuit of happiness?

Shit.

I'm still working on it. ROFL

:) Maybe it's just..doing the first part..and accepting the second..

And not looking at other toasters. Cause sometimes..your toaster is the perfect toaster for you.

Some random thoughts.



XOXO,
B

Woot!

Lady Gaga opened the show..Natasha Bedingfield followed..finally..they came out to a standing screaming PACKED Madison Square Garden. :) New Kids on the Block! HOOO!

There's more. :) But I'm lazy. lol

B

Tagged Again!

Thanks, Kim. :)

So here goes…

1. My Favorite Saying? "If you think so". Because the supidity of some people can be unlimited. And why waste good energy on fighting a futile battle? One statement tells them A) I don't agree and B) They're being an ass. :)

2. What part of your personality do you wish not to pass on to your child? Good lord. How many can I list? My insomnia. My OCD. My curt behavior. ROFL. The list goes on and on.

3. While driving, what’s your biggest pet peeve? People that go slow in the fast lane. It's not called the KINDA fast lane. It's the fast lane, bitches! Get out of my way!

4. If you could change your name, what would it be? Laila. But I did convince my friend to name his daughter that. :) So..I'm saving future generations one name at a time.

5. What’s the best excuse you’ve ever heard? Ninja's killed my parents, and I need money to take Kung-Fu lessons to seek revenge. I kid you not. There's a homeless man on the streets of NYC with this sign. Cracks me up every time..and I give him money. GET THOSE NINJAS!

OK… TAG:
1. Borday
2. Parker
3. Mikki! (does Mikki have a blog? Anyone? Anyone?)

Just Dance.. (In Honor of This Week's Blog Theme Song)

JUST DANCE!!!!! HOOOOO!

XOXO,

B

My Week In Review..(Photo Review..)

Everything from getting a new pet with Moo, Lola Boo (thanks, Parker!)..to chasing Mr. Moo dressed as a turkey with an axe..to our super Halloween costumes..to redoing the inside of our snowy home..to getting chomped on by Aeryn..to an amazing group photo! :) This is my week in review.

Lastly, the following was found in a little store today while shopping with Moo. :) And I kind of like what it says..because it's the kind of person..that I want to be. That I try to be.

Maybe one day, if I'm lucky. :)

XOXO,

B

I Don't Know What Time It Is..

2? 3? I can't tell.

I went to bed over an hour ago..but I can't sleep.

So I'm sitting here..awake..and restless..

And..

I'm here..blogging..for no real reason except to pass the time. I've read the same issue of US Weekly three times in the last hour.

I could log back onto SL..but everyone's probably gone to bed..and it's boring without my friends.

I could read a book, I guess. I have a stack of untouched books..that I bought..yet haven't looked at in a long time.

Nothing on tv I haven't seen 200 times already.

I could attack the laundry clothes. Or sort my overflowing makeup kit..

Or I could lay back down and try to sleep..

But I feel so restless.

So..something.

I'll give it a shot.

I need to sleep.