Someone recently pointed out to me that SL is very much a cycle. The periods of good and happy and fun. And then the periods of crazy and unhappy and out of hand. And I think..it's very true.
And, I said that it was the ebb and flow of SL that made it so much like RL sometimes. The periods of quiet content and then ear shattering discontent. They always surface.
When it rains, it pours, yada yada.
But let me tell you something funny.
I was sitting in my apartment chatting with Parker and trying to decorate (re-decorate?) for Christmas when the region decided to restart and logged us all off.
So, I logged back in, and a very funny thing happened. I landed in Noob Land, Korea..on Bev.
Literally..ON her.
And I thought to myself, if I'd never met Bev all those months ago..would we be friends now? Would today be the day that we met for the first time - when I landed on her? Would our friendship start today?
And I realized this (follow me if you dare):
There is a cyclic flow to life. Real and virtual. There are good times, and there are the not good times. But to say that I would trade one moment of good times for five moments of bad times would be a lie. I'd avoid the bad times if I could, but they make the good times that much better. And during the bad times, when you think things are at their worst, I sometimes think to myself, if not for this super bad moment, would I appreciate the good ones? Or would they just be moments to me?
So. Understand this..
You can see me any way that you want. As a good person, a bad person, as a clueless person..whatever. But. I would never trade a single moment for anything. I will never trade the bad moments away, because they make the good moments feel all that much better. I will never treat any moment as one I'd never live again - even my mistakes. Every mistake is a beautiful mistake. One to learn from and one to grow from. I am as much a product of my successses as I am of my failures.
And I believe that fate owns us in some ways. That fate brings some people into our lives and takes some people out of our lives. And we are better and richer and stronger because of it. And I don't doubt that for a second. Everyone touches us - whether they know it or not. Whether we register to them or not.
Tonight I would have met Bev for the first time, maybe. She'd come into my life later than had I met her months ago, but she WOULD have come into my life today.
I miss life the way it was a year ago. I do. My RL and my SL. Things were quiet and happy and I was able to live in La Dee Da Land - where the people without worries live. But the economy, the world, the everything has changed. And these days it's all sink or swim - everywhere. So I'm going to figure out where I can get a raft or something, because it's hard to swim with a 10 pound weight tied to your neck, yo. But. I know it'll be okay. My heart tells me so.
And soon, things will be better. I'm sure of it.
And I need to stop blogging so late at night. I think it makes me ramble. ROFL. *yawn* Night!
XOXO,
B
3 comments:
Bliss, I love this post. And I needed to read it today. I'm feeling a bit blue, but I know that it is temporary.
I have a burlap doll on my desk at work that a friend gave me. She has a this saying sown into her skirt:
Everyday I wake up above ground is a good day!
As long as I continue to believe that, there is hope for another "good" day.
Hugs Bliss! Hope today is one of your good days! :)
I agree wholeheartedly, Blissie. Everything that has happened before has done it's part to turn me into the me I am today. That includes the less that wholesome aspects of my life such as ending up in jail and the dastardly deeds I perpetuated on family and friends. It includes the heartbreak and deeds done to me. It includes 9/11 and my entry into SL. It includes meeting my wife-to-be on the Sarah McLachlan mailing list as well as those aspects of her that drive me crazy.
It's all part of who I have become. The question is, at this point, who do I want to become? Because, everything listed is in the past. It does not have to be as solid as I think it is. I can make new choices, no matter the past. I can choose to be aware, so that when I rez on top of someone, in SL or in RL, maybe that will be a life changing event.
Writing late at night doesn't cause you to ramble. Crighton has that effect on all his friends. ;-)
I was interviewing once for a very sensitive job that required a thorough psychological background check. Sitting at the table with the interviewer I was reading over the pages compiled on me to deem accuracy. He stated that he was sorry for all the abuse I had encountered as a child. Without disturbing my reading I replied, "Don't be. I'm not." Then I heard his jaw hit the table. If it weren't for everything I endured as a child and adolescent, I would not be the woman I am today.
Everything we go through makes us who we are. We can use that in negative ways and become a life-long victim, or we can use it to make us stronger and better. Had we met when I was a noob, there is a chance we would not be friends.
One day I walked into the Bee Hive to audition a loony DJ. this is not the day I am most pleased with (Yes, I hired him). the day I will ever be grateful for is the next time I walked back into the Bee Hive. that is the day that changed my SLife. It began the journey that would allow me to meet, get to know and eventually call friend a very wonderful, diverse group of individuals.
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