Goodbye 2012....

This is insane.  I feel like 2012 just started..like I was just saying goodbye to 2011 and trying to think of how 2012 would be different.

2012 is still kicking my ass, and now 2013 is getting ready to steamroll over me.  Sheesh!  Where did the time go?

Well, let's take a look at the year in review:

1.  I am now officially well into my 30's.  I'm not sure how exactly I feel about that.

2.  I went to Quebec City for the first time in my life.  I am completely in love with this city.  I will absolutely be returning.

3.  I've stopped being scared enough to open up and let someone into my heart.  I'm still SCARED......just not scared enough to hold back anymore.  Mostly because, for the first time in my life, I've realized that someone is willing to love me despite how incredibly broken I am. 

4.  I survived Superstorm Sandy, but New York was devastated.

Ground Zero During SuperStorm Sandy

5.  I lived through several predicted doomsdays and 12.12.12.  While that doesn't seem like an accomplishment, it is pretty damn cool.

 

6.  We discovered that my dad's prostate cancer has returned, and with a serious vengeance.  It spread to his liver and the lymph nodes in his stomach and back.  He started chemotherapy in September, and (knock on wood), so far he has handled everything well.  He survived a blood infection that had him in the hospital for 12 days, and just got a clean bill of health from the infectious disease doctor.

We have no idea what the future holds for him, but I know that we have gotten three more years with him than we ever expected - and I am thankful for every day with him. 

My year, while somewhat uneventful, has been really busy.  Between dad and Sandy, some days I went to bed wondering how I'd get through the next.

But, I did.

And I guess that's the lesson I've learned this year.

So my goal for 2013 is to be more:

and more

and less

I also plan on becoming more environmentally friendly:

I 100% plan on remembering the following every single day:

To close, I want to share the fantastic speech Hilary Swank delivers in the movie 'New Years Eve'.  Not a great movie, but this particular speech is extremely moving:

"...it's (the ball) suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the new year, to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by.

To remember both our triumphs and missteps, our promises made and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt. Because that's what new year is all about -- getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about what if and start embracing what would be. 

So when the ball drops at midnight, and it will drop, let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long."

Thank you for reading my blog, for staying a part of my crazy life (both first and second), and for being a part of my world.

Love,
Bliss

The Art of Forgiveness

Media outlets everywhere are all overflowing with the Kristen Stewart/Rupert Sanders affair pictures.  Everyone's got an opinion.  Everyone's got a story.

Well, he's the reality.  You can feel whatever you want - it doesn't make a difference.  It all boils down to forgiveness between Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson and Rupert Sanders and Liberty Ross.  If they can all truly forgive each other, then they can "let go".  If not, then they need to move on.  Carry their hurt off with them like suitcases and move on until they can eventually lose that luggage somewhere. 

Sometimes, forgiving someone can be a very, very tricky thing. 

I think it's in our nature to hold on to pain and heartache - we use these things as fuel.  Some turn this fuel into creative projects - music, writing, art, etc.  Others turn it into hate.  Regardless of what you do with it, it's always a hard thing to "let go". 

What does that even mean?  Let go.  I can't honestly say.  I've let go of heartache before.  But, it's always still there somehow.  A dull ache that just lessens over time.  I don't dwell on it 24/7.  And I think that's what letting go really means.  Just to let go as much as possible, because you will never truly release hurt.  It's always there..like a scar, I guess.  A reminder of your past.

Even if you forgive someone for cheating on you, can you ever truly trust them again?  Or do you carry nagging doubt with you everywhere?

Well, that's a very personal call.

For what it's worth, I think the blame being laid on Kristen Stewart alone is ridiculous.  A married, father of two should know better - and he is just as culpable, if not more. 

I think they did a stupid thing and got caught up in a feeling.  And I think.....ultimately..everyone is human.  We all make mistakes..choose the wrong path and fuck shit up.  It doesn't make it right - just makes it life; messy and uncontrollable. 

If we can accept our role and fair share of blame in the situation and genuinely ask for forgiveness, then I think we've taken one step in the right direction.

And to the people judging?  And throwing around words like whore and slut...well...if you've never made a bad decision in your life EVER..feel free to continue.  But if you have...?  Pipe down.  

And that's all from me today.



XOXO,
B