Saturday, May 31, 2008

50 Things

50 ODD Things about you! Now that you are reading - you too have to fill it out!Learn 50 things about your friends and family, and let them learn 50 things about you!I deleted my original e-mail. So here are some brand new responses.

1. Do you like blue cheese? Sometimes.
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No.
3. Do you own a gun? No. But I’m constantly rethinking that.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? I’ve discovered there IS a Sonic in New York. Just..nowhere I’ve ever seen.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Eh. Sometimes.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? What ARE they made of?
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Love, Actually
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Cranberry juice.
9. Can you do pushups? Yep.
10. Age? 27.
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? Diamond stud earrings.
12. Favorite hobby? Writing.
13. Favorite Actor? The list is just too long.
14. Do you have A.D.D.? Probably.
15. What's one trait you hate about yourself? I’m not very friendly.
16. Middle name? Danger! Or Fashion!
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? It’s hot, I feel so lazy, and I need more shrimp.
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday/today: Lindens, land and a new Mets t-shirt for my dad.
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Vitamin Water, cranberry juice and Jamba Juice
20. Current worries? Where do I belong in this world?
21. Current hate right now? Working.
22. Favorite place to be? In bed.
23. How did you bring in the New Year? Happily. J
24. Where would you like to go? Fiji!
25. Name three people who will complete this ? :) You, you and you.
26. Do you own slippers? Yes.
27. What shirt are you wearing? My gray Pink t-shirt.
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Once I’m asleep, I don’t care.
29. Can you whistle? Not so great.
30. Favorite color? Purple.
31. Would you be a pirate? Yes.
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Ain’t No Stoppin’ Sunshine!
33. Favorite girl's name? Cheryl
34. Favorite boy's name? Dylan.
35. What is in your pocket right now? No pockets. Pajama pants!
36. Last thing that made you laugh? Guy at Shea Stadium screaming at another guy for talking on his cell phone.
37. Best bed sheets as a child? Strawberry Shortcake.
38. Worst injury you've ever had? Broken heart.
39. Do you love where you live? Sometimes.
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 7 (don’t ask)
41. Who is your loudest friend? Uhm..Kim?
42. How many dogs do you have? None.
43. Does someone have a crush on you? ROFL! Let’s say no?
44. What is your favorite book? God of Small Things.
45. Where were you born? Brooklyn, NY
46. What is your favorite candy? Teuscher champagne truffles.
47. Favorite Sports Team? Mets!
48. What song(s) do you want played at your funeral? Home by Daughtry or Travelin’ Thru by Dolly Parton.
49. What were you doing at 12AM? Uhm..last night? On Second Life.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? It’s SATURDAY!

Friday, May 30, 2008

Hairy Sleepless Mess..with Starbucks!

Don't think it. Please.

But one of my closest friends is Eva. And Eva is also my hair stylist.

There, you just thought it! How very New York of her.

But it's not like that. I've known Eva for years. I knew her when she was dating my friend and then no longer dating said friend. And in the end, I kept her. She was the more genuine person in that couple. And I've never regretted my choice.

So some days, when we both need it, I wait for her outside of her salon with a grande passion tea lemonade for me and an iced caramel macchiato. We stroll around..window shopping down Fifth Avenue, chatting and mocking multiple outfits, hairstyles and people (of course).

But a few years ago, Eva was the first friend I ever had that called me out on my insomnia. Putting aside that it came with eratic behavior and wicked cruelty (my vicious icy tongue lashed out more than once at our friends), it was also hell on my appearance.

She told me to meet her for a late dinner, she wanted to talk to me. So I waited at the salon until things were all settled and closed up, and she told me to sit in the chair. She picked up a few strands of my hair and glared. Yes, I'd been cutting my own hair. Not in a demented kind of hacking way..but being up at bizarre hours of the notice things. Like uneven hair. And you set out to rectify it – always doing more harm than good.

"Can you fix it?" My words more a question than a plea.

She sighed and looked at me. Fifteen minutes later my hair was washed and she was snipping away, evening out my uneven and unhappy tresses while I talked. And she listened. Without comment for 40 minutes while I let it all out. Everything that ran through my mind at 2:54 AM. Everything that haunted me..everything that woke me up out of a deep sleep. Everything came out. Fears, sadness, stress, anger..

And when we were done, my hair was perfectly coifed. New bangs, clean cut..and it was all even. She stood behind me in the mirror and said "Life is like hair, honey. No matter what you do to it, there's always some way to fix it. Whether it's alone, which I don't recommend doing unless you have a beauty license, or with the help of a friend. It'll always be okay. So don't sweat it."

And I'd love to say that my insomnia ended that night. didn't. But I learned that sometimes it’s not about fixing a problem..but just being able to verbalize it. Just being able to say..“this is what’s wrong..and me saying it outloud won’t make it worse..won’t give it more power.” That changes your world sometimes.

And changing your life a little helps too. I shut down working on my laptop earlier now (mostly because SL slows me down..LOL). I've (been put on) started a sleep schedule. A routine helps. And someone to kind of enforce it does too.

But letting it all out still works best for me. Because if stuff can't torment you, they can't keep you awake either. And I have a few rough nights now and then..I won't lie. But it’s better. I’m better.

But I talk now. I don't keep it to myself. And a few days of sleeplessness trumps a few months of it – even if my ego takes a slight hit (you can't imagine how horrible you feel if you've never had insomnia - it's not even about the sleep - it's about turning your mind off just for a little and keeping your sanity).

:) And sanity is such a fragile thing in this wacky world.

Until next time,


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Pretty in Pink..

So I pushed my crappy work day aside and decided I needed a little mid-day pick me up. And my mid-day pick me up generally revolves around three things: dessert, shopping and..uhm..lunch (teehee). So I strolled over to Sephora and started shopping. I was out of my Clinique 'All About Lips', so the trip did have a point. the beginning, that is..

And then I started wandering around the store. I found a super cute kit by Too Faced called 'A Decade of Glamour'. The contents, I must admit, were genius. Their top telling items from the last ten years were exposed when you unfolded the little dollhouse shaped kit. Mindblowing let me tell you. From lipsticks to was all in there! By now my one little Clinique box that I'd been carrying around the store was making friends in my cute little silver and black shopping basket that the saleswoman was kind enough to bring me. I also picked up Philosophy's new coconut scrub (though it's not new..just the Coconut Milk scrub they'd released last year repackaged after disappointed customers were told Coconut Milk was discontinued and would not be returning). I snagged a cute new palette of eye shadows in the Summer's hot colors (it came with a free liquid eyeliner! Gotta love stuff like that!). So I was done. I'd decided. I was done and going to get on line. And then I saw it.

And of course, I had to have it.

Too Faced’s ‘Mood Swing Lip Gloss’. Emotionally activated lip gloss. Changes to your perfect shade of pink according to your mood. And what are the listed moods, you ask? Not angry..sad..happy..


The moods are (in this particular order): Totally Zen, Slightly Smitten, Feelin’ Frisky, Dirty Thoughts, Hot & Bothered, and Bask in the Afterglow. So a sex driven lip gloss? Wow. What will they think of next? Little buzzzer's tied into men's watches that go off when any woman is turned on within a five foot radius?


So I bought it. What? Are you shocked? Tsk, tsk. It's got to be tested, no?

So I skitter back to work with my sack of goodies and grab my friend. We read and re-read the box. Looks easy to use. So..I slap some on my lips. It's clear. Glossy looking.

And then..

It's hot pink. Hot & Bothered, according to the box. But it’s really pink.

Like..flaming whore pink! (Yeah, I always thought flaming whore only came in the red shade, but the things you learn..they're shocking!).

So now I'm sitting at work..with hot pink lips..which are telling me I'm supposed to be in heat or something. And I don't think I am. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm not.

And then my co-worker walks by. Mr.IStopAndBabbleAboutMyselfForTenMinutesWithoutAir.

And he says..

"That's really pretty lipstick. Don't think I've seen you in that color before." I don't correct him that it's gloss. "Sexy." And he leaves.

So I read the box again. Maybe I read it wrong. Maybe it reads other people's moods? So I look in my little mirror again. Maybe the color had lightened up a little?

Nope. Still flaming whore pink.


So after much thought, I decided that the lip gloss was made by men. Men trying to convince women they're in heat..when they're not. Because..why would lipstick lie to us?

And that's my conclusion.

But..let's admit won't stop me from slapping some of this stuff on when I get pulled over for my next speeding ticket. God gave me this for a reason. To waste it is a sin. :)

Decade of Glamour Beauty Wardrobe Makeup Collection ($195 Value)

What it is:

Ten years' worth of best-selling products from Too Faced.

What it does:

Introducing the Too Faced Decade of Glamour Beauty Wardrobe Makeup Collection. Once upon a time (1998 to be exact), in a town known as Tinsel, two young (and need I say charming?) boys named Jerrod Blandino and Jeremy Johnson decided it was time to add glamour, sex appeal, and glitter back into the beauty biz. Declaring, "Why be pretty when you can be gorgeous?" the Too Faced revolution began. The Decade of Glamour beauty kit transforms you from pretty and sweet, to red carpet starlet and sexy in seconds. Loaded with every best-selling product in our ten years of business to make heads turn and hearts break├»¿½the Decade of Glamour Beauty Kit will have the paparazzi frenzied for you.

What else you need to know:

The deluxe kit includes six Eye Shadows (Astro Turf, Zsa Zsa, Label Whore, Pixie Dust, Ooh and Aah, and Lovey Dovey), Beauty Balm in Girly Grapefruit, an exclusive Bronzing Powder, two Gossip Glosses (Sabotage and Tattle Tale), two Lipsticks (You're No Lady and Marcia Marcia Marcia), Bauble Gloss in Ring Pop, a mini Lash Injection Mascara, Glamour Gloss in Love Bites, Ooh La Rouge Blush Duo in Pink Provacateur, Juicy Jewel Doublesided Gloss Stick in Vanilla Ice, Sun Bunny Bronzer Duo, a full-size Lip Injection, and a mini Lava Gloss Eyeliner.

Mood Swing

What it is:

A lip gloss that changes color on your lips depending on your body heat, ph balance, and mood.

What it does:

Our supernatural formulation starts off crystal clear and blossoms into countless shades of pink from cotton candy to deep fuchsia, depending on the wearer's emotional state. Are you in love, jealous, angry, happy, or hot and bothered? Your lips will tell the tale and allow you to express yourself like never before! Mood Swing's secret blend of essential oils and extracts improves elasticity and rejuvenates your lips while natural sunscreens insure a younger looking smile.

What else you need to know:

Apply Mood Swing when you're feeling sassy, sexy, or deliriously happy and witness your lip color blossom from clear to pale pink or fuchsia. You can also apply Mood Swing in the center of the lips, over the top of lipstick, and watch the color erupt for a perfect pout.

Monday, May 26, 2008

I'm Happy Strolling with Fate Today..

Fate is like gravity. You can jump up and down until your heart’s content, but the earth still falls into the sun, and the sun still courses through the galaxy, both indifferent to your short-lived and insignificant defiance.

So, I got to thinking about fate lately.

About the way things have worked out in this crazy SWorld.

This year in SL hasn’t been a 100% smooth ride – I can assure you of that. There have been snags, and drama and bumps (bumps galore). But it’s been one hell of a ride regardless.

But I the end..the bumps made the ride better. Not at the time, I mean. But now.

The bumps showed you what was what and who was really..real.

And through the bumps and the snags and the drama..things worked out.

Not everything. Not 100% with a perfect TV ending.

But most things. The good things came through.

So I started thinking about my original Spank Pack. Borday, Kim, BigD, Kaarl and Ehric. The original six troublemakers that prowled Second Life in a pack – yes, like wolves. ROFL! What started out as just..hanging out in One World, quickly turned into exploring..and shopping and learning together.

We went though birthdays, holidays, rezz days, break-ups, make-ups and everything in between. We survived club openings and closings. We discovered land ownership, building, rezzing, prim limitations and sex beds.

We each found our place in the clubs – be it by a DJs side, at the turntable, on the stage or just on the dance floor.

Outside of the club, things changed for each of us. We adopted new friends, new hangouts and pursued new opportunities.

Yet, at the end of the day, we always found our way back home to each other. And home? Well home is where we all find ourselves at the same time; be it a club, an island, a coffee shop or a sim we invaded.

But what if that first event had never happened?

What if I’d never walked into ROB’s?

Furthermore, what if I never met ANY of the spankers? What if Crighton hadn’t spoken to Gal who set him up at ROBs? Where would we have heard that first spank? Without the spank..would there be Spankers? What if..I’d never met Kim? Who would be my partner in crime? What if I’d never met BigD? Who would have danced with me at OW? What if I’d never been introduced to Kaarl? Who would have been my bodyguard? And if I’d never wandered into Barefoot Beach, where would the Blissie Cave be now? What if I’d never bought that pillow that started the first pillow fight with Ehric? And most importantly, what if I never met Moo? What if I had never put on that one particular dress on the dancefloor at One World..and Kim announced us married? Who would be my SL best friend?

Every little moment in SL..has lead to a bigger moment. Every time someone (KIM) said “Hey, want to come to this club?”, it turned into something that changed my SLife. Whether it was meeting someone new, or discovering something different..or learning a new trick to getting SL to cooperate – something always came out of everything we’ve done.

So..maybe..what I’m trying to say (now that I’ve been typing this for two days and I’m tired of looking at it), is that no matter what SL has handed us..we’ve worked with it. Found a way to joke through things, hoo it up and spank our way into a better place. We, as a group, have grown. Taking on people who fit into our happy little family with their great attitudes, their charm and their sense of humor. Too many to list now.

I do believe that fate brought the Spankers to me. I do believe that no matter how far we travel from each other in this crazy sworld, we’ll always find our way home – even if it’s for a brief moment. And the bumps we experience on the way..make us that much better. Teaches us that much more about ourselves and others.

And I’ve extended this offer before, but here it is again:

I’ll slide over. You’re always welcome to hop into the Spankmobile and take this crazy ride with me. With all of us. Drop me an IM in-world. I’ll have BigD pick you up at the Short Bus bus stop. ;-)

Until next time,

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


Recently I went to the Hall of Science with my nephews. There’s a game in the interacrive section where you’re supposed to think ahead – mathematically, of course. And from there, you move your little dragon pieces until there are no pieces left but this doomed red one. Whomever gets left with the red one is the ultimate loser. Stuff like that loses my attention in a snap – I won’t even lie about it. So I sat on a bench and watched a few people and their kids do it. One dad explained it to his son and they systematically tried out the math involved in not getting the red one. They hive-fived and moved on. Another dad watched his daughter do it, mostly uninterested, as he chatted on his cell phone. And then there were the last two dads that grabbed my attention. The first dad hammered at his son – maybe 10? – about the concept of thinking ahead. He was playing another kid, nervous. And when he lost? His dad berated him. Called him stupid and growled at he stalked off – leaving the kid just standing there feeling ├╝ber-horrible. And then there was the last dad. The one who you knew was kind of “special”. And he watched his son play another kid – cheering them both on. And when the time came for someone to end up with the red dragon, he reached down and took it. “I lost.” And his son hugged him and he beamed. And well..heck. That’s what good dad’s do. When they can, they take the hit for their kids.

And it got me thinking about my dad. My dad that, when I was a kid, was the one that came home and did homework and laundry and cooked and attended all of my school plays. My dad that, while he was doing the above, also worked seven days a week. My dad that worked nights so he could be home to take me to school and pick me up. That’s not to say my mom was absentee in any way. She worked longer hours though – my mom was climbing the corporate ladder while my dad was playing Chutes and Ladders. When my dad would drop my mom off at the gym, he’d take me to Toys R Us and let me buy Jem dolls. Needless to say, I had all of the Jem dolls and their accessories by the time the winter rolled around and my mom stopped going to the gym.

Before my dad got sick, I took him to see a show on Broadway for his birthday. He’d never been before and I was excited. I got Jersey Boys tickets, made reservations at Morton’s Steakhouse and we met up – just the two of us. And we chatted and ate (he ordered his favorite glass of Shiraz and I ordered my favorite Pinot Grigio) and we even had the biggest molton lava chocolate cake ver (my sweet tooth is only surpassed by my dad’s). Then we skipped the cab and walked down to the show. We sat in our seats and when the music started..and everyone started singing along with the Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons hits, it was amazing. The energy, the laughter, the emotion..the everything that Broadway is. And when we left the theater and caught a cab home, he put his hand out – I think more on instinct than anything – so that I didn’t cross the street alone. And I laughed to myself and held his hand – which, no matter how old I get, will always be three times the size of my own..and the safest hands God ever made.

I don’t know how to articulate how important that night was for me. Shortly after that night, my dad got sick..and he can’t walk much now without his cane. It was really the last thing I got to do with my dad that he enjoyed without pain or worry that was just OURS.

And I think back. Not to just that night..but to before that. As a kid, my dad’s hair was black..his face unwrinkled..his posture imposing and his voice booming. As time passed, his hair became salt and pepper..laugh lines developed..and his voice softened. His stance was no longer for fear..but more for respect. And sometimes I tease him..calling him a little old man. I’ve been lucky to have the parents I do..who love me the way they do. And my dad..well, he’s the one that spent most of my time as a little kid with me. He’s the one that can pick up the phone and know from my voice when something is wrong. He’s the one that, before I leave home to go back to my apartment, has food packed and waiting for me to carry out. He’ll always be my biggest hero. Because..that’s what good dads are to their kids.

The funny thing is..when I went to see my parents last they were watching a movie in bed. I hopped in and covered up between them, just like I did when I was a kid (except now there were no siblings trying to get in too..just the grandkids who came clamoring up the stairs and into the bed!) and hugged my parents. They’re getting older..and I keep that in mind, and watching my dad’s health decline of the years makes me spend as much time as I can with them as often as I can. I suppose one day, if I’m lucky, I’ll have a Sunday morning like my parents did last weekend – relaxing in bed and watching a movie with my love of more than thirty five years with all of my special little ones around me.

Let’s face it, my bed’s nice. But..their bed’s always going to be nicer (especially with four little kids and one BIG kid crammed in it, all yelling for attention).


Saturday, May 17, 2008

The Institution of Marriage

Dear Married Friends,

Please do not feel offended in any way, shape or form by the following.

At this point in my life, I do not believe in marriage.

Do I believe in love? Romance? Passion? Yes.

The institution of marriage? No.

I don't believe that a ring..or an elaborate wedding changes feelings. I don't think it stops someone from cheating..or lying or leaving.

I do believe that love is strong enough to stop those things.

Someone asked me today why I wasn't married. And quite frankly..I couldn't think of any other good reason besides..I didn't really want to be.

I'm happy as is.

I'm happy just..being happy.

I've also been asked why Moo and I aren't partnered.

Well..truthfully..we have yet to run across an SL couple that partnered and then stayed that way.

So..why mess with a good thing?

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been together forever and a day. And they're not married. Never in the tabloids..never.

But the married folks. Well..they cheat. And get caught. And run off with other people. And..the damage is worse..because you've made that promise. That promise of forever.

Well..why put everyone through all of that?

I'm not saying I don't EVER want to get married.

Maybe three years down the line that'll be my thing.

Maybe I'll want that formal tie to someone else.

Maybe I'll not want bastard kids and stuff. LOL

And before you go off thinking my parents are horrible role models..they're not. They've been married for 37 years this year. But the thing mom is my dad's second marriage. His first was in his early 20's. And maybe..if he had waited..instead of diving in head first into marriage, he wouldn't have gone through a nasty divorce.

I'm not saying marriage is a bad thing. But it's a BIG thing.

Too big to just..hop into.

For now. Well..

I'm content just being.

Yeah. Just okay with me.



Monday, May 12, 2008

Hubba Bubba..

Hey there.

Welcome to my weekly social commentary, which I anticipate will make no sense.

Think about this.

Something about being part of a crowd skews your vision – whether it’s what you say, what you think or what you buy. It creates a cloud around your head that makes you judge and allows you to BE judged (by those you know, and even by total strangers). You fall into a stereotype of the group. You become prey to those who aren’t a part of the group and you become fodder for those that are.

Hang out with pretty people? You’re vain.

Hang out with smart people? You’re a geek.

Hang out with popular people? Then you’ve GOT to be fake.

And the talk. True or not..people believe the talk.

I heard the best advice not too long ago. If you want be part of this world, people will talk. Eventually. You gotta decide if all this is worth it.

And some is.


But like the good doctor says..

Life is like a lions fight. So chin up, put your shoulders back, walk proud, strut a little. Don't lick your wounds, celebrate them. The scars you bear are the signs of a competitor. You were in a lions' fight. Just because you didn't win doesn't mean you don't know how to roar.

Keep it in mind.

Until next time,