Truth

Passenger: Let Her Go..

Well.  I'm a huge fan of haunting lyrics.

Well, you only need the light when it's burning low,
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow,
Only know you love her when you let her go.

Only know you've been high when your'e feeling low,
Only hate the road when you're missing home.
Only know you love her when you let her go,
And you let her go.

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much and you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
Ooooh ooooh ooooh

And you let her go
Ooooh ooooh ooooh

Well you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

An Old Porch...

Sometimes, it's best to sit on an old porch and be reminded of who you are and where you're going. 

Good friends always do that. 

Funny how some porches never change. 

Life Lessons..

I love this..

XOXO,
B

Holiday Must-Haves

So, I gave you gifting ideas.  Now, we need to talk about must-haves for your partying.

First!  No party is complete without a FANTASTIC bottle of champagne.  But here's the deal - it's kinda cool to give out individual mini-bottles of champagne.  You WILL be the hit of any party.  Enter the Nicolas Feuillatte mini-bottles.  They even come with a strap for your wrist so you don't LOSE it! 

 
A perfect holiday treat is always kind of hard to nail down.  Everyone loves cookies, but the whole chocolate chip cookie thing (while classic and delicious) is a little overdone.  Enter..the French Macaroon.  I grabbed a box in South Beach recently and completely fell in love with them AGAIN.  Colorful and different - they're eye catching to a guest or a hostess (who will love you for bringing these!).

GOOD FRIENDS!  Please.  Don't be the person that invites people to their party for popularity or to show off.  Invite your FRIENDS (not necessarily the people pictured below).  You should actually enjoy the company of those your with and not worry about them judging you or your party.

Last, but absolutely not least, if you're the hostess, you need to send your guests home with little goodie bags.  Whether it's filled with a cute scented candle, some holiday cookies or some gourmet chocolates, you cannot let your guests leave empty handed.  Presentation is everything!  Wrap it in a cute or catchy way and no matter what the gift is, everyone will love it and the effort you put into it.

Obviously there are more must-haves, but that's all for tonight.

:)  Sleep tight kids.  Six days to Christmas and counting!


XOXO,
Bliss

Brilliant: Best Friends

It's 3:25 AM....

...and I'm sitting here typing. 

These last few weeks have been so...fucking horrible.

Last Friday we got the results back from the oncologist about my dad. 

His prostate cancer has returned, except it has mutated into a rare and aggressive form that is attacking the liver and lymph nodes.

I love the oncologist - I do.  I find him to be extremely responsive.  But I also find that he's also very...matter of fact.  Which, I'm sure in his line of work he needs to be.  So he said we had two options..

We could start chemo or we could choose no treatment.

The reality is, there is no cure for cancer.

Only a treatment that, most likely, will have to be administered for the rest of his life - however long that may be. 

Friday we got the news, his first treatment was scheduled for Tuesday.  Not a lot of time to digest or process. 

Oh.  And in the middle of all of this, was my birthday.

I'll just shorten it to say this was, quite possibly, the worst birthday I've had yet - putting aside the birthday that came around post 9/11 in 2001.

So his first treatment went insanely horrible.

He was a complete corpse by the time he got home - after 9 hours at the hospital getting chemo, blood tests, CT scans.  He had to be physically carried into the house and up the stairs.

His words were so slurred, we had no idea what he was saying.

The only bright side was that he wasn't incredibly sick - no vomiting or anything like that.

He's just now coming back around - in time for his second dose on Tuesday. 

I spent the first few days bawling in bed.  I feel like...he's been through so much, that him getting so sick now is so unfair.  Every step forward he takes...he gets knocked five steps back.  And after that I got into Go Mode - and it's been Go Mode ever since.  Truthfully, I've been in Go Mode since 2009 when he first got sick.    

My heart is breaking every day.  He's so frail now.  My Superman can barely walk.  And every time I look at him, I know deep down that there is a very real chance that he will not survive this treatment or this sickness.

The doctor doesn't give a time frame for his life - they're doctors, not God.  But I guess..he didn't walk in a say "he's got three months to live, there's nothing we can do."  He said it was treatable and it will help to ease the pain he's in.  I am thankful for those "silver linings".

The first cycle is supposed to be about four weeks of treatment - and depending on how the cancer responds, the next course of action will be decided.

My mom's a wreck.  She cries all the time.  I can't imagine losing the person you've loved for almost 50 years.  Watching them slowly disappear right before your eyes.  The day the doctor told us everything, after he left the room, my mom hugged my dad and cried.  He has short-term memory loss, so for the most part he has no idea what's wrong with him.  But as always, he hugged her back and told her not to worry - everything would be fine and he was going to beat this.  That made me cry.  Because for the first time in weeks, he sounded like my dad; reassuring and loving - but he didn't know enough to be scared for himself.  What he said to her was completely reflex and habit.  

So it's now almost 4 in the morning...and I'm up.  And after writing all of this, I'm crying.  Mostly for selfish reasons.  Because I don't know if my dad is strong enough to survive the chemo and to fight the cancer.  He's 72.  He takes so much medication..it's mind blowing.  He was supposed to die three years ago at the kitchen table.  But for some reason he didn't, and he has suffered every day since.  I know if he knew better he'd be miserable the way he is - because this isn't living anymore.  And yet, I still can't come to terms with losing him or letting him go. 

I thought writing this might be cathartic for me....but it's not.  It's hard.  And it hurts.  And sometimes it hurts so much that I can't breathe because he's dying and I can't stop it.  I can't fight it for him, and I can't do anything but be helpless.  And that fucking KILLS me.

Now I'm tired and maybe I'll lay down for a little.  But before I go..here's something for you to share.

B

Get Moving

This isn't a politically correct post.  So, if you're easily offended, please skip the post.

Okay.  So here's the deal.  We, as a part of today's generation, are lazy.  We rely on technology for everything and own gadgets to control gadgets that control gadgets.

So what's the result?

A lot of cankles.  No, I mean it.  A lot of morbidly obese people are roaming the streets.

Now, I live in NYC, which I think ranks third in vain states (lead only by California and Florida).  So we're a place where there are gyms on every single street corner (if not two!).  If you don't look a certain way, then you are looked down on.

Come on - did you want me to sugar coat this?

Pretty people get treated better than people with extra stomachs.  It's a reality.  So!

I know (and love) people of all sizes.  But I hate nothing more than when someone complains that they're overweight......but do nothing about it.

Nobody can change your life and your lifestyle....but you.

NOW!  Let me say this - there are people with medical conditions that cannot help weight gain.  Those people have an excuse.  But everyone else.....?  What's the story?

I know busy schedules.  I know the working late..the family..the no time to even breathe life.

But here's the thing, kids.  All it takes to make yourself healthier and extend your life span is thirty minutes.

Thirty minutes of your day can make a huge change.

And my Second Life friends.....we all know how quickly a two hour gig can go by.  So....skip 30 minutes of a gig and go for a jog.  Take 30 minutes and try some yoga or pilates.  Have a little more time?  Try a dance class or a spin class.

But, for your health..take the time and take care of your body.

Small good decisions lead to big good decisions.  And you'll see the difference in your life and yourself.  :)

I'm not looking down on people that don't work out.  But why wouldn't you take every opportunity to live a longer, healthier life?

I aim to work out at LEAST three times a week for an hour or more.  In reality, I work out seven times a week .  I run, and I've added dance class into the mix.  Do I love some chocolate and cake and ice cream?  Of course I do.

But I also know that if there's a train and I need to run for it.....I need to be able to do it without killing myself.

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, don't get me wrong.  This isn't about being fat or thin.  

But there's healthy and unhealthy.  There's no two ways about THAT.

Get your body moving.  

Want some helpful links?

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/aerobic-exercise/EP00002

https://www.presidentschallenge.org/

Just so you know I'm not full of shit....below is my own personal goal just recently reached (courtesy of my Nike+ system).

XOXO,
B

Same Old Story..

If you read this blog, I'd hope that you've learned a few things about me.   The most important thing is that I firmly believe that you have to live for today.  Your entire life can change in a single second - for better OR worse.

So here's what I want you to consider:

1.  Forgive your enemies.  What does carrying around the hatred do for you anyway?
2.  Remember good times.  Trips down memory lane always warm the heart.
3.  Tell the people in your life what they mean to you.  Dole out those 'I love you' statements.  How would you feel if you never had the chance to say it again?
4.  Be true to you.  Don't be who other people want you to be.  Be who you love being.  Don't be afraid of what people will think, or how they may perceive you.  Just let all of that GO and be who you are.

Happy Sunday!


XOXO,
B